Hell On A First Day
by Pepito rulz
Summary: Sasuke's been having the worst luck of his life, after he moves to a new town. And the hot blonde isn't making things better. Language. Yaoi. Adopted from X-Blue.Wolf-X
1. Hell

**For all those who have already read**** this story, I adopted this from bluewolf. I'm gonna post the same chapters that Bluewolf left on. There might be some changes but small ones. And for all those who haven't, this my new story.**

**Hope you enjoy it!**

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"Fuck!..."

"Stupid shit!..."

"Damn!"

Uchiha Itachi watched his little brother with poorly-hidden amusement. He was standing against the door frame almost laughing – yes, almost, because Itachi laughing would mean the end of the world – as Sasuke ran from one side of the room to the other, cursing and screaming.

They had moved just a few days ago, after an accident that had caused their parent's death – Itachi and his little brother preferred not staying in that house. They still didn't know who had broken in and killed their parents and they really didn't want to know. So, just in case the murderer decided to come back and finish off what was left of the Uchiha family, they had moved far, far away. Exactly four hours from their previous home.

"Ah! Where the hell did I fucking put the God Damn book?!"

"Little Brother, you should calm down." Itachi chuckled when his 's language became a tad more colorful.

"_Shut up_Itachi. You're not the one who's going to be late for his first day of school."

The older Uchiha rolled his eyes. He stopped talking, but kept watching – the smirk never leaving his face – as his brother turned his room upside down trying to find his book. Which, by the way, was _already _in Sasuke's gray backpack. And Itachi knew that, but he loved to see his brother loose his normally calm composure.

"SHIT! I'm already 20 minutes late!"

Itachi sighed. Even thought he enjoyed seeing Sasuke like that, he didn't want his only family member die from a stress trauma, so he walked over to where his backpack was and calmly showed his brother where his book was. Of course, it did nothing to calm him down.

"You _knew_ where my book was and didn't say anything _until now_?!"

Sasuke was _screeching _now and that was not good for anyone's ears.

"Sasuke, are you going to stay here scolding me, or are you going to get to school? You're already 25 minutes late."

The raven's eyes widened and he nearly ripped the door out of its hinges when he opened it.

Itachi sighed once again. "Sasuke, you need _shoes_ to go to school." He told the boy before he went any further.

The young Uchiha stopped dead in his tracks, looking down to see that he really _was _going to leave without his shoes. He awkwardly turned back, calmly put his shoes on and then left, running as if he were on fire.

"I should've told him about his clothes…oh well, too late for that." Itachi shrugged as he walked into the kitchen. He noticed a small bag on the table.

"… He went to school with _those_ pants, didn't have time to put his contacts, put on a shirt that mom had _tried _to make – but failed miserably and forgot his lunch. Well, he certainly _is _going to have a fabulous day at school. And those glasses really don't suit him."

For the third time that morning, he sighed.

"I'm going to have to prepare for a pissed off Sasuke tonight." Cue in the fourth sigh.

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"Shit, shit, shit, sh – Oof!" The raven fell backwards, his rear hitting the floor. _Hard. _He had been running for sometime now, trying to find his class and this stupid wall had appeared from nowhere.

"Damn it…" He tried standing up, but was pushed roughly down again.

"What the he –

"Who do you think _you _are? Crashing into us and not even apologizing?"

Great. This was not what needed this morning. He was already late and _this_ had to happen.

Suddenly he felt the guy lift him up by the collar of his shirt. "Listen here four-eyes, you better start saying sorry or you'll regret ever being born."

Sasuke wanted to punch this guy _so _badly. Rip him to shreds and make him burn in Hell. But he had to keep his composure. It was his first day; he couldn't get into trouble on his _first _day. Tomorrow he would make the bastard pay. Just not today.

'Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, breathe out. Breathe in, Breath –

His breathing exercises were rudely interrupted by a fist connecting with his face. He opened his eyes and glared with all his might at the guy who _still _hadn't let go of him. He was sure that if his stupid glasses weren't so thick, the boy would be pissing in his pants because of the intensity of his murderous gaze.

'Annoying, stupid, glasses…'

He received another hit, this time a knee to his stomach, which made all the air in his body leave with very little chance of coming back. Finally the jock let go of Sasuke, leaving him on the floor, panting and clutching his stomach, trying to regain his breath.

"Since this is your first day here, we'll let you be. But don't worry, tomorrow you'll be sure to see us again. And you better think of a good apology or you're going to suffer twice as much" The two guys left, not even glancing back at Sasuke.

'Oh yes, tomorrow those two won't ever see sunlight again' An _evil _grin made its way to the Uchiha's face. 'They'll be the ones wishing they were never born.' And if Sasuke wasn't Sasuke, he would be laughing maniacally right now.

----------------------------------

Itachi sat on the couch, calmly reading his newspaper. He looked up, sure to have heard something and then a chill ran through his spine. He shook his head. Whoever got on Sasuke's bad side was going to suffer a slow and painful death.

---------------------------------

"Hey, who's _that_?"

"I don't – pfft – know, but what the – pfft – hell is he _wearing_?" The girl wasn't able to hold it and burst out laughing, along with many others who watched Sasuke walk through the corridors.

He had been in this school for three hours and already was he planning the death of more than half of the school's population. Though he really couldn't blame them for laughing, he hadn't exactly paid attention this morning when he got dressed; hence taking clothes he was supposed to throw away. If it had been someone else, he would've made fun of that person, because really, everything was funny as long as it happened to somebody else.

Sasuke was about to enter the cafeteria when he noticed that something was missing.

Fucking. Great. He had forgotten his lunch at home. And he was starving, damnit! He hadn't eaten breakfast!

'It was all the stupid alarm's fault! If the fucking thing hadn't decided to stop working nothing would be going wrong right now!'

"Ah! Naruto-kun!"

Suddenly, he was nearly run down by a stampede of girls (and even a few guys).

He turned to look at the person who had caused such a commotion and his mouth nearly dropped to the floor.

In-between the mass of girls was a blonde haired, blue eyed man. But Holy Shit, he was a fucking Adonis. Sex-on-legs - the guy was fucking gorgeous. When was his birthday again? Maybe it was his early Christmas present...

Suddenly the center of attention turned to look at Sasuke and smirked at him. Now, Sasuke was usually very good looking, he could rival the blond's looks anytime. And if the Uchiha wasn't wearing what he was wearing right now, that smirk the blond was sporting would've meant something else. But right now, the Uchiha new it was a mocking smirk, which made him scowl. The blond raised an eyebrow and mouthed a 'did you have a fight with your closet' before smirking even more and turning away to pay more attention to his adoring fans.

This only made the raven scowl ever more. He was definitely killing someone today. Probably the next person that talked or looked at him. He didn't give a shit if it was his first day or not, but he had to relive his stress somehow.

The day went on and just kept getting worst. Not only the students laughed at him, but even the teachers whispered among themselves. Ugh, Sasuke didn't know he had so much self-control.

Finally the torture came to an end, the corridors were filled with students and teachers who presumably wanted to get home as fast as possible. Sasuke on the other hand, did not want to go home. Itachi would mock him, because he was sure the bastard knew what clothes he had put on this morning. And he would never let him live it down.

The school became empty pretty fast and Sasuke walked to his locker. He shifted through his bag making sure he had all his books with him. Suddenly his eyes widened. At the bottom of his backpack was a plastic bag with a piece of clothing peeking out. He took out the plastic bag andin it were his black sleeve-less shirt and a pair of blue jeans. Along with the clothes were his contacts.

'Damnit! Why didn't I notice earlier?!' Itachi must've put them in my bag.' Sasuke sighed and went to the bathroom. At least he wasn't going to make a fool out of himself on his way home.

He changed and packed his other things. He noticed he had taken a notebook he didn't need and decided to put it in his locker. While he was walking he bumped into somebody again and _nearly_ fell to the floor. Fortunately, whoever he bumped into wasn't an asshole like the other two jocks and had actually caught him before he hit the floor.

He looked up and was about to say thank you when he noticed who had helped him. None other than the blue eyed blonde from earlier.

"You should watch where you're going Sasuke. This is the second time today."

The raven raised an eyebrow at the blond. How the hell had he recognized him? He barely recognized himself when he put on his glasses.

"That chain around your neck."

"Huh?"

"I noticed it earlier today at the cafeteria. Just in case you were wondering how I recognized you, 'cause seriously Sasuke, it's like I'm looking at a different person here."

The blonde smirked and Sasuke's back met the lockers painfully.

He tried glaring at the blonde, but instead gasped when the boy pressed up against him, a warm tongue licking at his neck. He heard Naruto chuckle when he let escape an unintentional moan.

Naruto sucked at his pulse and then, as soon as it had come, the warmth was gone. The Uchiha opened his eyes to see Naruto walking away, waving lazily and muttering a 'see you tomorrow'.

-----------------------------------

Itachi opened the door for his little brother who had apparently forgotten his keys.

'Well, seems he found the clothes.' But judging by his brother's expression, he had found them at the end of the day.

Sasuke walked in, not even bothering to look at his big brother and head for his room.

"How was your first day otouto?"

"Hell."

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**See, I bearly changed anything. ****I might rewrite it but it's to much work.**

**Tell me what you think. **

**Could someone pass me the summary, I forgot it and I'm not good at making one.**

**REVIEW!**


	2. A Little Better

Yesterday night, Sasuke had made sure his new alarm worked. He tested it about eight times before he was convinced that it would wake him up on time the next morning. And it did. He ate breakfast, took a shower, put on some _real_ clothes and threw away ones he had on yesterday in the fireplace. It had been the most horrible day of his life.

He was thirty minutes early, so he sat down on his couch and watched TV. His brother came out of the kitchen with a cup of coffee in hand.

"Huh. So you _do_ know how to dress yourself, otouto. I thought I was going to have to teach you all over again." Itachi smirked when his brother tried glaring at him. Unfortunately for Sasuke, he was an Uchiha too, and so completely immune to said glares.

"Fuck you."

"I'd rather not." Sasuke's glare intensified and any normal person would've gotten as far away as possible. Of course Itachi wasn't a normal person, he didn't even flinch at his little brother's look.

He sat down next to Sasuke and looked at the time.

"You're early."

"Hn…"

"Doesn't surprise me, I bet you'll wake earlier from now on."

Sasuke groaned; Itachi was never going to let him live it down.

"Sasuke, as much as I love annoying you, you better go or you'll be late. Again."

"Yeah, yeah. I'm leaving"

The youngest Uchiha got up and got his school bag. He checked if he had everything – including his lunch – and left.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"Oi, who's _that_?"

"He's so hot…"

"Look at him!"

"Go ask his name!"

"What?! No."

Normally, whispers and comments about his good looks annoyed Sasuke. Although today, he was actually glad to hear them. He preferred _this_ than being laughed at.

"Sasuke!"

The raven turned his head to see a certain blond boy running towards him. He blushed when he remembered the events of the day before. Who the hell did something like what he did to a stranger?!

He suddenly felt arms wrap around his waist.

"Hey, there sexy. Come here often?"

Sasuke felt his eye twitch and as an answer to Naruto's question, he elbowed him in the stomach. Naruto stumbled backwards and coughed a little, he then proceeded to glare at him.

"What the hell bastard? You hit me!"

"Hn. At least I don't go harassing people I don't know."

"I didn't harass you! I was just messing with you! Look, sorry, I didn't know it bothered you. I do things like that often and nobody has cared before."

'_As if someone would care´_

"Look dobe, I'm not other people. So leave me alone."

"Did… did you just call me an idiot?"

"Yes, _dobe_, I did."

It was Naruto's eye's turn to twitch.

"TEME!"

"Hn"

Sasuke heard a growl before he was thrown onto the ground, an apparently very mad blond hovering over him.

"You don't even know me, asshole! What right do you have to insult me?!"

"Get _off_ –!"

He wasn't able to finish – a fist connected with his cheek. As a reflex he threw his own punch, hitting Naruto directly in the mouth. He could see blood pouring form the blond's broken lip.

"Shit!"

The raven felt another hit, this time coming close to his eye. With his knee, he pushed Naruto off him, pinning him to the ground.

"Let go teme!"

"You started it, dobe!"

They kept wrestling on the ground. A crowd had formed around the two, watching the fight in fascination. It wasn't often that someone fought with Naruto, him being one of the strongest guys in school. They were surprised to see that Sasuke didn't have much trouble returning Naruto's hits, both boys were pretty much even and it was more of a battle of wills at this point.

"THAT'S ENOUGH! BOTH OF YOU!" they heard a voice, but it did nothing to stop them.

Suddenly, they felt arms grab them, successfully separating them from each other.

"That's enough you two! You'll get in trouble if you keep fighting."

Naruto finally broke his hard gaze away from Sasuke's to see Kiba and Shikamaru holding the other teen. He looked back and saw Gaara and Neji holding him.

"Ok, let go." The blond then realized that it was Sakura who had told them to stop. "And if you two start fighting again, I'll make sure you stay in a hospital for at least a week."

Kiba and Shikamaru let go of Sasuke, while Gaara and Neji let go of Naruto.

"Aww, you should've let them! It's rare to see a fight here!" The raven turned to look at who had talked, the voice sounding familiar. His rage multiplied by two when he saw the two jocks he had seen yesterday. The two saw the glare Sasuke was sporting and looked around to see to who it was directed to. They gulped when they realized it was intended for them.

They shrank back in fear when Sasuke started walking towards them, a murderous gaze plastered on his face. If this guy had fought with Naruto and only gotten away with a few punches, it was a bad idea to mess with him. The raven was now standing in front of the two, and even though they were taller than him and seemingly stronger, it was him who looked most dangerous.

Sasuke grabbed the two by the collar of his shirt.

"_You._"

"Y-yes?"

"If you ever call me four eyes again, touch me or even _look _at me, you'll be seeing hell as a nice place."

The two guys looked at Sasuke in confusion, not quite understanding why he was threatening them. They had never even seen the guy before, so how could they have called four-eyes…?

Naruto watched as Sasuke bore holes in their heads with his glare. He smirked and took the glasses of someone near him. Said glasses resembled Sasuke's from yesterday.

"I'll give them back in a minute."

He walked over to where Sasuke was and put the glasses on him. Sasuke jumped a little when he felt something on his face. He let go of the boy he was holding and took off the glasses the blond had put on him and shoved them in the other's hand.

But Naruto just smirking. Sasuke felt heavy stares on him and looked around. Everybody had stopped talking and was now staring at him, shock and bewilderment present in their features.

"What?"

Naruto motioned the specs in hand, grinning like an idiot.

The raven raised an eyebrow, when realization hit him. Of course they didn't recognize him. He had put on his glasses yesterday.

"Y-you… you're the guy from yesterday! B-but… you were…"

"Hn. You're lucky I didn't want to get in trouble yesterday."

He turned and looked at the jocks.

"Or you'd be in your graves right now."

Both boys swallowed loudly.

Sasuke looked away and sauntered over to where his backpack was. He hung it loosely on his shoulder and head for class when he heard the bell rang. The students woke up from their moment of shock and head for class themselves.

"Oi, Naruto. What happened? You normally don't get into fights like that." Kiba put his hand on the blonde's shoulder.

"I was just messing with the guy, you know, acting like my usual self." His friends rolled their eyes, no wonder the guy had snapped. "And then he starts calling me a dobe like it's the most normal thing in the world. No one has ever called me that, except for you Sakura. The bastard didn't seem to dislike it yesterday, and I couldn't help it. I mean, I haven't seen someone that hot in a long time. But seriously, he just started insulting and he didn't even know me. So I got annoyed and it wasn't like I was going to start a fight, just wanted to show him not to mess with me and, fuck, he's stronger than he looks!"

The blond kept on rambling and Sakura, Gaara, Neji, Shikamaru and Kiba acted like they were listening, but not really doing so.

"But you know… He's interesting."

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

"U-um, w-well I… wa-was wondering… wi-will you go out w-with me…?"

Sasuke looked at the girl that had prevented him from going into the cafeteria. She was blushing all the way to her ears and she could barely meet his gaze. Sasuke sighed.

"No."

She looked up at him.

"O-oh… Alright, sorry to disturb you." She ran to her friends, who patted her in back trying to comfort her.

It's not that the girl wasn't good-looking; he just wasn't interested in a relationship with a girl right now. He was bi, but his preferences of gender changed from time to time and at the moment, he was more interested in guys.

"Oh, nice going teme, you made the poor girl cry."

Sasuke didn't need to look to know who was talking to him.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing, I was just going to eat. But then I saw you breaking the girl's heart."

"Shut up."

Sasuke pushed the door of the cafeteria open and walked in.

"Wanna sit with us?"

The raven watched Naruto with uncertainty. They had gotten into a fight earlier today, he had called him an idiot, and yet, he was asking him to sit with him? Weird guy…

"Hn"

"I'll take that as a yes. C'mon!"

He grabbed Sasuke by the wrist and pulled him to his table.

"Hey guys!"

"Hm? You brought Sasuke."

"Yup. He'll be sitting with us from now on."

Wait a minute, he hadn't agreed to sit here _every day._

"Move over Kiba, I want him to sit beside me."

"No way! After this morning, I can't trust you near him."

"Move, Kiba. I promise I won't start a fight again."

Kiba glanced at Sasuke.

"What?"

"He said he wouldn't start anything. Now it's your turn."

The Uchiha rolled his eyes.

"Fine. I won't start anything either."

Pleased, Kiba moved over.

"Alright, now the introductions"

Naruto pointed at each person sitting at the table while he said their name.

"Chouji, Hinata, Ino, Kiba, Sakura, Shikamaru and Shino"

"Uchiha Sasuke, nice to meet you."

Their eyes widened.

"…Uchiha?"

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**OMG who is it!**

**Tomorrow I will post a new chapter of Oh Naruto, Naruto but it ain't pretty.**

**Review!**


	3. Dare

**I know I said I wasn't going to post anything till September but I got really bored.**

**I need help, I don't remember where but I readied this story about Sasuke bring Naruto to this family thing or something and they want 'proof' so Naruto and Sasuke…jack off, there I said it. And I think they got married. Somewhere in between, Itachi comes in. It got better in later chapters but I can't figure out the name!**

**If anyone knows the name of this story please tell me!**

**Thanks to all those who reviewed.**

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"Alright people, I want you to finish your paper for Monday."

"Iruka-sensei, how can you give us work during the weekend? It's the only time when we can relax from school!"

"Or in your case, look for a good fuck."

"Shut up teme. I do that during school days too. It's just easier during the weekend."

A few people erupted in laughter, while others just chuckled quietly. They were in Iruka's class after all and he didn't exactly tolerate interruptions.

"Naruto. Sasuke. Enough. I don't want to listen to you two talking about things like that in class."

"Iruka-sensei, how can you go out with Kakashi-sensei and be bothered by our conversations? I mean, he spends most of the class… '_enlightening'_ us about all the things you two do."

"Tch, dobe. The only one that Kakashi's talks '_enlighten'_ is you."

"Shut up bastard. I bet you get off thinking about it."

In answer to Naruto's remark, he balled up a paper and threw it at Naruto's face. The other saw it coming and avoided it, pointing at Sasuke and laughing.

"Mis – Ack!"

In his moment of laughter, Sasuke had balled up another paper and promptly hit Naruto with it, making the whole class bark in laughter.

"Alright, enough! Naruto and Sasuke, I want to see you two after school. You're going to clean and organize the classroom! I want it spotless by tomorrow."

"Bu –!"

"No 'buts'!"

The blond sunk in his seat, pouting. Just then, the bell rang and everybody hurriedly shoved their books in their schoolbags. The teacher gave one last angry look at the two who had disrupted his class and left, sighing loudly. '_Those two will never learn.'_ He made his way to the teachers lounge. There was _someone_ who needed to have a good talking to.

Arriving, he pushed the door open with all the force he could muster.

"KAKASHI!"

-----

Students and teachers made their way to the cafeteria, greeting each other and seating in their usual places. The loud, but cheerful place was filled with different scents from various foods.

"It's your fault we have detention tonight."

"Hn. You say that every time we have detention, dobe."

"That's because it's true, teme."

Well, cheerful for the most part.

"God damnit, would you two _shut up_?! One frickin' month ago, I agreed to move over so that you two could sit besides each other and you said you wouldn't disturb the peace. And for the _whole fuckin' month_ you've done _nothing, but _bicker about stupid things!"

"We didn't say we wouldn't _bicker_, we said we wouldn't get into a fist fight."

The whole table glared at Naruto, who tried to somehow go through the wall. He had scary friends, don't judge.

Sasuke smirked and proceeded to eat his lunch. His smirk then turned into a smile as he thought about his first week at this school. He remembered their reaction after he had told them his last name. Apparently, the death of his parents had made the newspaper. It didn't surprise him, though. His father had been a rather famous policeman, and to think he had been killed on his day off… He shook his head, trying to erase thoughts about his mother and father. Anyway, what had surprised him the most was that Naruto's father had been Minato Namikaze, his father's partner. It seemed that the murderer had been after the two of them, because the blond's parents had been killed too.

"– suke. Sasuke. Teme!" The Uchiha flinched in surprise, as he saw a hand an inch away from his face. He looked at the hand's owner and saw Naruto looking at him with a raised eyebrow.

"You okay Teme? It's rare to see you space out like that." Naruto smirked and snickered at the glare the other directed at him. Sasuke scowled when his glare didn't faze Naruto. The stupid blond was somehow immune to his glares, but not to the ones from the rest of the school... Ok, maybe that was an exaggeration, but from a good number of them.

"Hn."

"Sasuke, I know for a fact that you have an extended vocabulary since I'm in your English class. It's impressive really, it's like you have the whole dictionary shoved into your head, and yet the only word – which technically _isn't_ even a word – you use is 'Hn'. I have yet to understand your choice in terms."

"Hn."

The blond rolled his eyes and turned to his food. The day Sasuke started expressing himself with whole, actual sentences – asides from when he was mad and making fun of people – he was sure it would rain cats and dogs. Literally.

----

"I'm home."

"You're late little bother"

"I had to stay in detention because of the dobe."

"Hn." Itachi grinned at Sasuke's expression. You could see it didn't bother him as much as it should've. Even though Sasuke hadn't admitted yet, it was obvious the blond was more to him than just a friend. It surprised Itachi that someone had caught his little brother's interest in such a short time, but from what he had heard, Naruto attracted people easily. And Sasuke had been one of the many.

"Oh, by the way, the Hyuuga kid called today, just before you arrived."

Sasuke tilted his head to the side, why had Neji called him and not talked to him at school? He shrugged, took the telephone and dialed Neji's number.

"_Hello?"_

"Hyuuga? It's Sasuke. You called?"

"_Ah, Yes. I'm throwing a party for my cousin's birthday. She doesn't know about it. Friday night, next week. Can you be there?"_

"Your cousin… Hinata?"

"_Of course. I wouldn't invite you to a party for someone you don't know."_

Sasuke thought about the shy girl in a party. He wrinkled his nose; he really couldn't picture her partying.

"Hn. I guess. Are the others going to be there?"

"_Yes, don't worry; Naruto's going to be there." _The Uchiha could hear the smirk behind those words. Everybody knew about his 'interest' in Naruto. Everybody _but _the blond… at least he hoped so.

" Friday night, next week. I'll be there. Goodbye."

"_Goodbye."_

He sighed and hung up.

----

Morning came much too fast to Sasuke's liking. He groaned and opened his eyes slowly. He felt like he had slept for a few hours only. He turned his head to look at the time and his eyes nearly sprang out of his sockets. It was already 12 o'clock. He had slept through the whole morning!

Sasuke got up and head for the bathroom. He took a quick shower, put on some gray sweats and brushed his teeth.

He went downstairs and noted that there were voices other than his brother's. He entered the kitchen and was surprised to see Kiba, Naruto, Sakura, Gaara, Neji, Ino and Hinata chatting casually with Itachi.

"Mor –… _Afternoon_ little brother. Thought you were never going to wake up."

Sasuke ignored his brother's comment and took a box of cereals from one of the many cupboards. He got milk from the fridge and sat down.

The Uchiha looked at his friends. "What are you doing here?"

"We were wondering if you wanted to hang out today, ya know, the usual. We called like two hours ago, and your brother – Naruto pointed at Itachi – told us that you were still sleeping, but that you would probably be awake and ready in an hour or so. But, to our surprise, when we came you were still sleeping."

"Hn."

"But seriously Sasuke, what were you doing last night? You normally wake up early little brother."

"Nothing. My paper for English and some homework."

"You finished already?! Man, I haven't even started." Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"Why doesn't that surprise me?"

Naruto playfully stuck his tongue out at Sasuke.

"So you coming with, Teme?"

"Where?"

"The mall."

He raised an eyebrow.

"The mall?"

"Yes, the mall. The place where there are lots of shops and things to buy."

"I know what a mall is idiot."

"Oh. Then? Yes or no?"

"May I ask _why_ the mall?"

They pointed at Ino and Sakura.

"Lost a bet. They dared us to do something and we didn't do it, so we have to go with them."

"_You_ lost a bet. Not me. So why do I have to go?"

They stayed silent for a moment, thinking of a reason.

Naruto grinned.

"Because you love me"

Sasuke choked on his cereal and started coughing. They didn't know if he was red because of the choking or because of Naruto's comment. When he was finally able to breathe properly again, he looked at Naruto.

'_He was joking right?'_

"Geez, Teme. You okay? It's not the time to die on us." It didn't seem to Sasuke that Naruto had said it seriously. He sighed, thankful.

"Really Sasuke, you okay?" The Uchiha waved his hand dismissively.

"I'm fine." He saw the knowing smirks on the other's faces and glared.

"I'll go."

"Eh?! Really?!"

He sighed. "I'll go change."

----

The reason why the girls had asked them to go to the mall with them? Easy, to carry their bags. Which were very heavy. And there were a lot of them.

"We should make bets more often. We would've never been able to carry this by ourselves!' they giggled and kept walking, looking at each passing store to see what they should buy next.

"Next time you make a bet, make sure I'm there with you." Sasuke groaned as Sakura found the next shop.

"Please, teme. Those two have never lost a bet in their lives."

"Hn. At least I'll be able to stop you from doing something stupid."

"Would you two stop it?"

Both boys looked at Neji, Kiba and Gaara who had a large number of bags too.

"Alright guys. We'll give you a break. Let's go eat."

They all sighed in relief.

----

"Don't do it Sasuke. I swear. They never lose."

The Uchiha was currently in a staring contest with Sakura and Ino, who kept saying that they could beat Sasuke in a bet anytime. Sasuke, of course, who had too much confidence for his own good, said that it wasn't true. Uchiha's never lose, after all.

"Sasuke you're digging your own grave!"

"Shut up, Naruto. If he wants to make a bet, let him."

"Fine, but don't involve us in it."

"Alright Sasuke. First of all, it's a dare. If you lose, you'll have to… let's see…"

The girls looked at each other and a sudden smirk appeared on their faces.

"You'll have to confess something."

The raven looked confused. "What do you mean?"

"Well, you'd have to confess what your most embarrassing moment was, or something personal like that. Or even confess… to _someone_. And if you don't accept our dare, it'll be as if you lost."

Sasuke's eyes turned nervously at Naruto. "Hn, alright. What do I get if I win?"

"_If_ you win, we'll do your hours at the school cafeteria."

After his many detentions with Naruto, Iruka had decided to make them work at the school cafeteria. Serving lunches and cleaning up afterwards.

"What's the dare?"

Sakura and Ino gave an evil grin.

The blonde got up and whispered something in Sasuke's ear

"_You have to give Naruto a lap dance at Hinata's party. In front of everybody."_

Sasuke wanted to die right now.


	4. Should I?

**I couldn't wait till September. Yes, it's two weeks away but who cares! I just about finished writing all my stories and I gotta say I'm getting better at this writing thing. Maybe I'll post another chapter next week.**

**Ugh, I have to go to school this Thursday. And what's worse, only 9th graders have to go. Lower grades start till next week! I really don't want to but then again who does?**

**Ignore this Authors note and thanks to all those who reviewed!**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, sucks.**

* * *

A lap dance

_A_ lap dance

A FRICKIN' _LAP DANCE_!

He had to give _**Naruto**_ a fucking _**lap dance!**_

Sasuke let his head fall forwards on his desk, making a loud 'thump'. He ignored the obvious stares from the others in class. He hadn't slept at all yesterday. Or the day before that. He was tired, mad and completely annoyed. His stupid ego got him in trouble all the time and he never learned. This was, by far, the worst that had ever happened to him.

Now, some would say _'Don't accept the bet and they'll make you confess something. How bad could it be?'_ or _'You like Naruto, right? So where's the problem in giving him a lap dance?'_

The answers were simple.

He lifted his head up again, acting as if he was paying attention to the teacher.

First, his most embarrassing moment was _too _embarrassing. So there was no way he was going to tell them.

'_They said it could be that you have to confess to someone. It could be your opportunity to confess to Naruto.'_

He had known the girls for one month, but that was enough to tell that they were sadistic creatures. So, being the… _mean_ people they were, he would probably have to confess to someone _other_ than Naruto, even if it wasn't true. To someone like Karin for example –cue in a shudder – and there was no way either he was going to risk having to do something like that. To top it all, they would probably make him say in front of everybody at the party (yes, Karin _had _been invited by Neji. Why? No idea.).

To put it simply, refusing was _not _an option. And _no, _no matter how curious you are, he was _not_ going to declare what his most embarrassing moment was.

Second, giving Naruto a lap dance was not… as _easy_ as it sounded. Not that he was a bad dancer; in fact, he _had_ done a few lap dances… He was drunk! – yes, he was only seventeen, who cares? –but he had done it nonetheless. And the ones at the receiving end had seemed pleased after his little _show._

'_So where's the problem?'_

It was exactly that. He had been drunk – as in, not himself – and it always led to… _other_ things… In other words, he somehow always ended up having sex. Now, for a seventeen year old teenager it wasn't something quite bad, but for Sasuke… It didn't feel right. He didn't enjoy it as much as he would want to – he blamed that on his mother who had spent her days telling him about how wonderful it felt, when it was with someone you actually loved.

He had the urge to smile when he remembered the day his parents had decided to give him _the talk_. It had been more uncomfortable for them than for him. It took his mother around half an hour before she got confident enough to stop stuttering. He had actually laughed that day a lot. Which was rare.

Anyways, back to the problem.

He didn't want to end up having meaningless sex with Naruto. He actually liked – maybe even _loved_? – the blond. If Naruto didn't like him back, it was fine. They could just be friends. But having sex would ruin their friendship. Maybe not completely, but it would definitely make it awkward.

'_Naruto's a__ good friend; would you really take advantage of him if you were in that state?'_

No, Naruto would never do something like that, but he would. As he said before – he wasn't himself when he was drunk. He would persuade the blond to have sex with him… and when he wanted something, he got it.

'_Who says there's even going to be alcohol at the party?'_

…Did he really need to answer that?

'…_Then don't drink.'_

Mission impossible. The first thing Naruto, Kiba, Sakura and Ino has said when we started talking about the party was 'We're going to make sure you get wasted. You _need_ to loosen up!' Or something along those lines. In other words, if he didn't want to drink he had to _not_ go to the party. And that would be like losing the bet. And Neji would be pissed with him because he had said yes. And Naruto would also be pissed… along with everybody else. And – ok, you get the point. He started fighting with his inner voice.

'_But what i__f –'_

No.

'_You don't even know what I was going to ask.'_

…ok?

'_Give him the lap dance without getting drunk.'_

Haven't you been listening to what I was saying? The only reason _why _I gave someone a lap dance was _because_ I was drunk. I wasn't thinking straight.

'_Ha!'_

What's so funny?

'_You weren't thinking straight, because you gave the lap dances to _guy's_ right?'_

Once again, his head hit the desk. He was talking to himself now… and that joke was _not_ funny.

"Err, you okay, Teme? Sensei, I think someone should take him to the nurse."

Sasuke glared at Naruto, but even his glare was fucked up. Hell, he could barely keep his eyes open.

----

Everybody within a viewable distance of Sasuke could tell that he was not, by any means, himself. First, because of the way he nearly ran into a door while walking. Even if Sakura had warned him three times, he had still kept going and it wasn't until she yelled it loud enough for the whole school to hear it that Sasuke stopped. He had looked utterly oblivious that he had been inches away from hitting the door. Neji had actually held his shoulders and turned him in a different direction.

Second, he _swayed_ when he walked. That was completely out of Sasuke's character. The guy was a perfectionist in everything he did, even when he walked. You could pretty much draw a straight line and he would walk on it without even looking at the floor. Third, he hadn't retorted to any of Naruto's insults. That alone was proof enough that Sasuke had completely lost it.

----

"I'm starting to get scared. _That _is _not _Sasuke-Teme. From today on, I highly believe in brain-abducting aliens." They looked at Sasuke and then at each other.

Sasuke stared incredulously at them. "Aliens? Did I miss something?" He frowned when they burst out laughing, but then shrugged and carried on with speaking with his inner voices.

"But seriously, Sasuke, you taking any new medication we should now about? 'Cause I'm ready to call an ambulance and get you to a hospital." Naruto watched in amusement as Sasuke stared off into space, completely unaware that someone had been talking to him.

"Ok, that's it. I'm calling 911!"

"Giving him some coffee, I'm sure that would work better." Ino, Naruto, Neji and Hinata jumped as they heard a voice come out of nowhere. They abruptly turned to see…

"Itachi? What the hell are you doing here?"

The Uchiha chuckled. "Apparently, you're not the only ones who are concerned about Sasuke. I received around six phone calls from concerned teachers. Some of them don't even have Sasuke in their class and yet…" He sighed. "Don't ask me why, but he just hasn't slept in the past few days. And when he doesn't sleep, well…" He looked at his little brother and walked over to where he was sitting. He shoved the cup of coffee he had in his hand in front of Sasuke's face.

Sasuke flinched as the coffee was nearly poured on his face. He looked up to see his brother standing in front of him. Yup, he had definitely lost it. Hallucinating was the final evidence he needed. Itachi rolled his eyes when he saw the confused looked on his little brother's face.

"Sasuke, you're not hallucinating. Now drink the damn coffee. I want to go back home."

The raven tilted his head to the side in question, but took the coffee nonetheless. So he wasn't hallucinating. Huh, so maybe he didn't need to go see a shrink after all. He shook his head and drank the coffee in nearly one gulp. He felt the rich liquid pass through his throat. He closed his eyes and when he reopened them, after finishing the coffee, his senses were somewhat back. He saw Itachi standing in front of him.

"What are _you_ doing here?"

"Brining you back from whatever world you were in, teme."

"Shut up, dobe." His hands flew to his ears when he Naruto gave an _extremely annoying loud _cry of joy.

"He's back!" Naruto grabbed Sasuke in a bear-hug. "I thought I had lost you! Oh, Sasuke!" The others watched in fascination as Sasuke blushed and Naruto acted like he was living an over-dramatic love scene were the two lost lovers found each other.

Naruto then ruptured in laughter. "But seriously Sasuke, how come you haven't slept?"

'_Oh, nothing. Just that I have to give you a lap dance at Hinata's party. In front of everyone'_

"Hn."

"Teme, how do you expect us to help you if you don't tell us what's bothering you?"

"It's none of your business."

"Stuck-up bastard."

"Brainless idiot."

"You're the most horrible person I've ever met."

"Hn."

"Gah! You and your monosyllables! I'm going to shove knifes into my ears one of these days!"

"_HN"_

"Un-fucking-believable."

"Hn."

That did it. Naruto didn't care if his friends killed him for this later, but he was going to beat some sense into the bastard!

----

At the end of the day, Naruto and Sasuke were both at the infirmary, but not because of their fight - no. It was because of Kiba. Dog-boy was strong when mad. Lesson learned.

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**Will Sasuke give Naruto a lap dance? Find out next on Hell On A First Day.**

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